My Miscarriage Vlog
I never really knew much about miscarriage until I had one. When I was pregnant with Jayden I was young and completely oblivious to the risks of pregnancy. I had no clue so many things could possibly go wrong. I just never thought that I would have a sick baby or end up not having a baby at all. In that regards I was able to enjoy my pregnancy with him. I had no fears. So when the doctor looked at me with his sad eyes and told me that my baby no longer had a heart beat my world just stopped. I had never felt so bad in my entire life. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was crushed. The ride home from the Doctors appointment is a ride that I will never forget. I cried so hard I thought my head was going to explode. My head was pounding and it hurt sooooo bad! In my heart I already knew that I was miscarrying because of the spotting, but I refused to really belie
ve it until it was confirmed.
|My necklace to honor my angel baby|
|My OPKs and Pregnancy Tests|
|The Angel Candle my friend Kayla made me|
Some days are harder than others and sometimes little things will set me off that make me sad again but for the most part I am doing pretty good. I am just so hopeful for the future and can't wait to fall pregnant again. I know it won't replace the baby that I lost but it will fullfill my need and desire to have another baby and give Jayden a sibling. But I am not going to lie I am TERRIFIED of pregnancy now. From what I have been through and all the things that I have learned from the TTC and Mommy Community on Youtube I am just so scared of all the bad things that can happen. I am probably going to stress out the whole entire pregnancy. I am just so deathly scared of suffering another miscarriage. I am not sure what going through a 2nd one will do to me. Thankfully I have the love and support of my Youtube mommy/ttc community. I have gotten so much support and nice comments on my Youtube channel and it had made this whole grieving process a little easier.
|The Flowers Jennifer and Leyna sent me|